What is Spiritual Direction?
🎧 Prefer to listen? An audio version of this post is coming soon.
Spiritual direction isn’t something that’s discussed much. Even when people have heard of it, they may not know what happens in spiritual direction. They may assume that, just because they’re not spiritual or religious, they wouldn’t benefit at all from meeting with a spiritual director.
That couldn’t be farther from the truth.
We’re used to thinking about our health in relation to our emotional, mental, and physical well-being. We can be quick to forget that we have spiritual health and well-being, too. Just as other parts of our lives develop, so, too, does our spirituality.
That is the work of spiritual direction.
And it isn’t just for priests, nuns, and vowed members of religious communities. Spiritual direction is available to anyone who longs to deepen their spirituality and cultivate a relationship with the Divine.
Spiritual direction isn't therapy, counseling, career coaching, or advice giving. Spiritual directors do not replace therapists, counselors, coaches, or other providers. Those relationships are valuable, and some people often work with a therapist and spiritual director at the same time (I call that a powerhouse combo).
Spiritual direction has a different focus: paying attention to your interior life, your relationship with the sacred, and the movements and moments that may be shaping who you are becoming.
Spiritual direction is a practice of accompaniment. Even though “director” is used in the title, they do not “direct” or tell someone what to do. A spiritual director listens, asks questions, and helps you notice patterns, desires, movements, resistance, and invitations that can be difficult to recognize on your own. A spiritual director doesn't tell you what to do. Direction creates space for you to notice, interpret, and respond to what life is asking of you.
Spiritual Directors International has a great guide for how to find a spiritual director, so I won’t re-write that information here.
What I want to explore instead are some of the questions that bring people to spiritual direction. This list is by no means exhaustive, and I do not claim to speak on behalf of all spiritual directors. This post is a reflection of my experience both as a director and as directee.
Are you trying to discern what deserves your attention?
Spiritual directors are trained to listen actively, deeply, and attentively. As part of that, they pay attention to where energy is in your story, how your relationship with the sacred is communicating with you, and support your discernment in how to respond.
This perspective can be useful when you’re choosing an opportunity to say “yes” or “no” to, navigating relationships and responsibilities, or wondering what deserves more or less of you. Sometimes the question isn't what you should do next. It is what is asking for your attention. A spiritual director can help you attune your attention.
Do you long to deepen your spirituality?
Spiritual directors are trained in what is referred to as “holy listening” – listening for how and where the sacred is at work in your life, however you understand the sacred. They might ask you questions, like “What/who is God for you? What is your prayer or meditation life like? What growing edges are you noticing in your relationship with the sacred or with your religious community or faith tradition?”
To support you in answering those questions, spiritual directors integrate contemplative practices in sessions, like meditation, prayer, and sitting in shared silence. They serve as attentive witnesses to how the sacred moves within what you share during a spiritual direction session.
You don't need to have a particular religious or faith tradition or have your spiritual life figured out to see a director. Some people come to direction with a clear understanding of God. Some are questioning what they believe or may not have belief at all yet yearn to understand why that is. Some have been hurt by religious communities. Some don't know what language they want to use for God, the Divine, Great Mystery, Love, or the sacred at all.
Not knowing might be what brings you to spiritual direction.
Are you discerning questions about your career?
Career questions rarely stay contained to our jobs. Work is connected to our relationships, identities, circumstances, responsibilities, communities, and the lives we want to live. Spiritual direction can give us space to listen to all of it.
Sometimes the career question isn't “Should I leave my job?” It might be: “What is this work asking of me?” “What am I no longer willing to give it?” “What else is becoming important?” or simply, “Who am I becoming here?” Maybe you wonder, “Is this career still for me?” Or maybe you think, “I want to be somewhere else in my life or work, but I can't seem to get there.”
A director listens to your questions and stories, the challenging, the joyous, the sticky. They ask you questions about what drives your career choices, what the sacred might be revealing to you, and can provide you with ways to listen more deeply to the questions themselves.
Are you navigating life changes?
Maybe you’ve gone through a divorce or breakup, experienced a death or major health issue, are newly married, or have a new child.
Maybe a family or friend dynamic has changed and is impacting you in unexpected ways.
Maybe you’ve identified that anger is informing your decisions.
Maybe fear stands in your way of doing something that matters to you.
Maybe your inner critic has a loudspeaker with negative self-talk messages on repeat.
Maybe a recent rejection has impacted your time and thoughts.
Big life events can disrupt—in positive and negative ways—life as we know it. Big emotions often come with them and can put a spotlight on an area of our life that we’re not comfortable with, like failure or change.
A spiritual director listens with you for what your emotions and experiences may be revealing. Fear, grief, anger, joy, resistance, longing, and uncertainty can all carry information. Direction gives you space to notice those movements without trying to diagnose, assess, or fix them. It’s a space to learn what you might learn by paying attention to those experiences.
Other questions you might explore with a spiritual director:
What desires keep returning, even when you try to dismiss them?
How can you make decisions that are rooted in your relationship with the sacred?
How do you find purpose and meaning in your life?
What are you holding onto tightly?
What is changing in your relationship with the sacred?
Who are you becoming?
Spiritual direction at Lumin Living
At Lumin Living, spiritual direction sessions are one hour, 75-minutes, or 90-minutes, and most people meet with me about once a month. We meet virtually, which means you don't need to live in Milwaukee—or even Wisconsin—to work with me. You can learn more about pricing here.
I offer a free initial conversation before we begin. This gives us a chance to talk about what is bringing you to spiritual direction, what you're looking for, and how I approach the practice. It's also an opportunity for both of us to determine whether we're a good fit. You don't need to arrive knowing exactly what you want to explore. Curiosity is enough.
My approach to spiritual direction is grounded in Ignatian spirituality and discernment, but I don't assume that you share my faith tradition or my understanding of the sacred. You might call that presence God, the Divine, the Sacred, Great Mystery, Love, or something else. Part of our work is paying attention to how you experience and understand the sacred. You can learn more about my training, education, and formation here and throughout my blog, “Mundane Wisdom.”
You don’t need to subscribe to a particular or any faith, religious, or spiritual tradition. I have accompanied people who are active in a church community, identify as atheist or agnostic, or long for spiritual belonging but aren’t sure how to do that.
You can bring your whole life to spiritual direction. That might include your spirituality, work, relationships, sexuality, identity, grief, desire, uncertainty, career questions, or a transition you are navigating. I don't experience those as separate parts of a person. What happens in one part of our lives can shape what is happening elsewhere.
My role isn't to give you answers or make decisions for you. I listen, ask questions, and help you pay attention to what is happening within you, around you, and where the sacred is inviting you to. As I've written elsewhere, a director walks with you, not for you.
If you're curious about spiritual direction and whether we might be a good fit, book a free discovery call. We’ll talk about what is bringing you to spiritual direction, what you're looking for, and any questions you have about working together.
